wear a different perfume when you commit murder fuckin amateurs
also wear shoes that aren’t your actual size and use gloves if you have to touch anything
what the hell is this here? A how-to-commit-the-perfect-crime??
helping others is always nice
also if you know someone you can’t stand leave some of their hair at the crime scene
the internet’s ship name for James and Lily may be Jily
but deep in my soul I know that Remus, Sirius, and Peter called them ‘Lames’
went to an American restaurant today!!!! ‘ello mate!!!!!! put forks in my hair to show my love for these Westerners’ food!!! Haha!!!!! Ha!!!! Ha!!! Ha!!! Ha !
*shows up 15 episodes late with starbucks*
OMG OKAY THIS IS GOLD. The pallas cat at my local zoo apparently does this, and there’s a little sort of kid-level viewing window into its habitat, and the keeper in that area told me that the pallas cat likes to hide beneath the window. So when the kids press their faces up to the glass, searching the exhibit for the animal, the pallas cat suddenly pops up directly in front of their faces and scares the ever-loving shit out of them. Pallas cat: recreationally scares children. Tell your friends.